The happy mid-week holiday has thrown a wrench into my week and has made me unable to focus on the whole "get back to work" attitude that I have been embracing in my new job. I've been loving my new completely insane and incredibly amazing job, but today I felt CRANKY and hated the world and wanted to go home and eat another hot dog. Why did I have to stop eating hot dogs and go back to work? Why do I have to go to another meeting about changing the world when just a few days ago I was eating hot dogs and drinking beer?
I spent the morning muttering expletives at my giant flat screen monitor each time I received a disagreeable e-mail. Also be aware that if I hear anyone on the phone saying things like "We're going to hit this one out of the ballpark" or other baseball metaphor bullshit, you are lucky that I don't jump over the desk and strangle you. I'm not sure why, but when I'm grumpy, this kind of positive can-do lingo drives me completely insane. Each time I heard it I would madly IM the Chef with "Can you believe that?!" and "I can't STAND THIS ANYMORE!" He knows not to argue with me about the realistic level of this kind of annoyance.
When I got home I received an e-mail from my mom - one that made me close it right away and then pretend I hadn't received it. More people are sick. Goddammit. I swore at the e-mail and then at my mom for sending it to me, even though the e-mail and my mom are not to blame for bad news. I thought, "Why doesn't she withhold bad news from me? Doesn't she know that I have no coping skills and that she is the reason to blame?!"
Tonight the Chef and I pretended that it was still a holiday and ate leftover hot dogs and potato salad and watched "Kitchen Stories", a funny little Swedish movie about the simple things in life. Tomorrow I will call Dr. Sally and make sure that she is okay. It just takes me a while to get used to the idea of sad things, but I know it's important to be there for people when they happen.
3 comments:
i hear you, even though i took a week off to go to seattle and now have to go back to work on monday.
perhaps hot dogs cause problems like twinkies did for dan white. maybe it is the hot dogs. surely you can blame it on that. ha ha.
your blog is making me laugh...i like the one about cats vs. kids. pretty soon everyone i know will have kids and i'll have no one to talk dogs with.
lauren
sigh, I sat on the porch of the mountain house in NC yesterday and cried because I had to come back to SF. Two weeks away from the noise and the fog and work and now my computer is loading up some 3500 emails from the last couple weeks of work. the hell with web 2.0.
Do you suppose I could make a living creating art out of twigs and rocks??
It's strange, I know how you are about bad news, and yet you are one of the few people who always knows EXACTLY what to say and do when I'm going through a hard time. Wish I could do the same for you.
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