Saturday, February 09, 2008

L.A. Redonkulous

Every year Hausfrau likes to get drunk, watch a certain awards show and yell expletives at the television as she watches the endless stream of shiny golden objects bestowed upon "the best of the year" piles of poo wearing lipstick. There can be exceptions to this rule, and when that occurs Hausfrau jumps up and down and says hooray --- completely shocked that a bit of brilliance has sneaked through to be included in rest of the mediocre heap. Hausfrau admits that she is a bit particular when it comes to music. She is thumbs down on stylists and thumbs up on the real deal. Her favorite awards show performance in recent memory ? Ralph Stanley in single spotlight at the end of a dark stage singing “Oh Death” (talk about yer goosebumps! ) But that was the same year that the “Oh Brother Where Art Thou” soundtrack swept the ceremony, culminating in a best album that was accepted by #4 on Hausfrau’s top ten giant crush list – T-Bone Burnett. That year Hausfrau was so overwhelmed that she lost her voice screaming “OH MY GOD!” and passed out. I think this also happened another year when Elliott Smith appeared with Celine Dion in the “soundtrack medley” portion of the program, the sight of which crashed Hausfrau’s entire system and she had to be defribulated.

So, you can imagine the total reluctance and forced enthusiasm when the odd shift in time and space seemed to be propelling her closer and closer to Los Angeles and a single ticket that was way way up in the not-so-important-people seats. At first when the subject came up she hid under chairs and made up excuses to go to the bathroom. Then she crafted a reasonable argument that she believed was airtight. She followed it up with a private meeting that involved lots of busy schedules and a HUGE disinterest in Carrie Underwood. The whole time, there was a tiny itch telling her that there was no way she was getting out of this. She could feel the terror of L.A. schmooze parties and limos right around the corner. Then one topsy turvey day (not unlike every single topsy turvy day!) it was presented to her as a requirement that if not completed would result in the total downfall of the entire project. Hausfrau said, “Ok, fine. I’ll go.”

And that is the story of why Hausfrau is now in L.A.

Stay tuned for more redonkulous stories that involve (eek -- gratuitous name dropping alert!) The Foo Fighters, Journey!, Jason Bateman, Jerry Lee Lewis (and his entourage) Juliette Lewis and the most redonk -- The Backstreet Boys. Holy crap.

2 comments:

Kim Bitter said...

Holy crap indeed. You have my deepest sympathy.

Rock Mama said...

OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! DO you want Miz Bitter and I to come pick you up?