Everyday Memories

I've never minded being called up for jury duty. I love watching the process, milling about with the rest of the average citizens and (most of all) hearing their stories and how their lives relate (or don't) to whatever odd circumstance that requires selecting a random batch of people to make decisions. Once the Chef & I were selected at the same time and eventually we got into the same jury pool and eventually the same jury. It was a union case and at the time I was a union steward for that leftie radio station so the lawyer for "THE MAN" quickly had me tossed out. The process lasted a whole week and the Chef & I always hung out in the back of the courtroom together, ate lunch together, read one newspaper together. I think people thought we were a jury duty romance. That always made me smile. Oh and our groups were named after colors and I think at one point we were in the Black group and this guy (who was black) asked us, "What are you?" and we responded, "Black" and he said, "No you're not! I'm black!" and we all laughed. Ah, jury duty.

Mind you, I've never actually had to serve so maybe it's not the "duty" I enjoy, just the process when I end up getting out of it. I've been selected a few times, but I've always escaped and felt elated for the rest of the day. One of my favorite jury duty memories was the time I was dismissed after only a few hours so I decided to NOT GO BACK TO WORK and instead went to a bookstore. I skipped in and, to my amazement, realized cartoonist LYNDA J. BARRY was just about to start reading cartoons from her book "The Greatest of Marlys"! At one point she THREW OUT GIANT LEMONHEADS to the audience and I CAUGHT ONE! (note - Lemonheads are my favorite sugar crack candy.) Afterwards, I bought her book and she signed it. We discussed Wisconsin (she was born in Richland Center, WI) On this day I felt like the happiest luckiest person on the planet. I was on the verge of exploding.

The last time I went through the jury duty process wasn't as fun, because it was for the criminal court (not the civil) and going into that courthouse is super scary and (go figure) involves walking through a metal detector and hanging out with criminals. One of them kept crashing our courtroom and saying crazy things loudly and no one removed him. Isn't that the entire job of a bailiff? To keep the order? I was full of worry that I would get picked and have to tell my story (age, martial status, what neighborhood I lived in, renter vs. homeowner and have I ever had a heated argument with a neighbor?) in front of a crazy person. Things were definitely not in order in that courtroom. He eventually wandered out and I crossed my fingers he wouldn't attack anyone in the hallway.

If you've never been called up for jury duty, you should know that during the selection process, everyone and their uncle (and aunt) makes up elaborate excuses for why they can't serve (it's true -- the first time I witnessed this blatant weasel behavior I was shocked!) Because of this, the judge usually gives everyone a pep talk which usually is something like, "Be a good citizen! It's your CIVIC DUTY! If you were in a fix and needed a jury, wouldn't you count on your peers to serve?" As I'm a total Midwestern nerd, it would never occur to me to make up an excuse, so don't tell me that you've done it or else I will think you are un-American and never trust you again.

Anyway, when it got to the pep talk, the judge for this criminal case used a different tactic. He started off by saying that we all do the same things every day, day in and day out, and everything blurs into nothing and who even remembers yesterday? He called these "Everyday Memories." At this point, I laughed and then realized that it wasn't a joke, so I shut up. Then he said, if you served on JURY DUTY, it would be a completely UNIQUE and NEW experience that you would REMEMBER because it would something different from your usual grind of horrible nothingness and boring everything. I looked around at people, and a few were caught up in it and nodding. Wow, I thought. Everyday memories. They're supposed to be bad? It was one of the saddest pep talks I ever heard.

I ended up spending two days in that courtroom listening to all the stories. It got a little boring (even for me) by the second day so I was again, elated when my name was never called and I was excused FIVE MINUTES after they were supposed to release us back into the big jury pool for the rest of the week. This meant I was off the hook. Again, ELATED! SPARED! I didn't even mind that it was too late to wander around downtown in search of Lynda J. Barry.

When I got home I explained the "Everyday Memories" theory to the Chef. I started thinking about all my Everyday Memories and how much I like them, and, even though they happen nearly every day, I don't tire of them and I remember them and look forward to them and can't wait for the next one, and why would I want to serve on jury duty when I could be home having EVERYDAY MEMORIES?!

Here is one of my favorites. Each morning when the Chef makes fun of the crazy cat lady who lives in the house, I say, "Don't bother me! I'm having an Everyday Memory."